Jo34

Once again I got on this amazingly crazy roller coaster some of us refer to as dieting, others refer to it as a weight lose program, I refer to it as hell! I started slowly this time. I didn’t go out and spend hundreds of dollars on workout clothes and exercise equipment like I’ve done so many times in the past. I’ve always faltered and was then angry, not only because I failed in trying to lose this extra person attached to my backside but because I was so frivolous in my spending and was now out of all that money! I decided to work with what I had. If I had to do laundry everyday because I got my favorite comfy clothes sweaty and nasty from working out, I was going to do that. I don’t own any workout equipment but I have 2 strollers and a great hilly neighborhood. I have washed out milk jugs filled with sand as weights and a 30 lb child that I can lift for tons of added motivation just to hear her giggle. The one thing I don’t have, and it always seems to be my biggest downfall, is support and encouragement from home. My husband is extremely overweight as well, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it. I want for us both to eat healthier and work out together but he just wants to play on the computer. I have tried to convince him to work out with me and become healthier in so many different ways. Nothing has worked. I have finally resorted to telling him that I am going to be thin again and super hot with or without him. I even asked him how would he feel when other men start paying me attention again. Even that didn’t work. HELP!

I went to the grocery store for the first time since I decided to change. It really wasn’t as hard as I anticipated. It did take me much longer than normal, almost twice as long, because I was reading the labels on everything, plus I needed to stay within my budget. Anyone know why it costs so much more to eat healthy??? I have not weighed myself since I started but my tight jeans aren’t as tight anymore. I have been eating less food more often and I found that I am less likely to indulge in boredom snacking this way. I feel good right now.

I have decided it was time to do something about the way I feel about myself. I have always been an outgoing and self secure individual. Until this past year! I have not changed much. I haven’t gotten heavier, haven’t had to buy bigger clothes, or haven’t changed my eating habits. I have, however, gotten older, my heart has gotten weaker, and my joints are starting to scream at me for just trying to get up off the couch. The weight I’ve been carrying around for 8 years has finally taken a toll on my body. I have noticed that I don’t go out much anymore. I mean out of the house, period. I have tremendous friends who try to include me in everything fun, but I always decline because I am worried they will see me as I see me.  HELLO!? Who is this person I have allowed myself to become? Where did the fun loving, outdoorsy girl go? Where is my breath? I keep losing it as I try to climb the stairs! I want to be who I was 8 years ago. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again!